We know, we know. Attending speed-dating events can be nerve-wrecking enough as is it; factoring in a list of ‘do not’s just simply does not make it any better. Unfortunately, that limited time you have with your partner (about 30 minutes) is not the same as a full date and the things you do unconsciously can make or break the mini-date. So here’s a cheat sheet of five habits you should take note of and refrain from doing as much as possible if you want to increase chances of meeting the other person again.
1. Appearance and Personal Grooming
Remember the saying that first impressions matter most? How you present yourself will affect the way your partner assesses you at first sight. While you want to be as comfortable as possible, it is just as important to dress appropriately for the event. If it’s held at a restaurant, go for smart casual. If possible, it is also a good idea to have a friend look through your outfit and give you his/her opinion. Before you step into the event location, it’s good to have a final check at the restroom for body odour – the Singapore heat and nerves can be pretty unforgiving sometimes, can’t they?
2.Inattentiveness
Nobody likes being ignored or brushed aside, especially if they happen to be talking about something of importance to them! And yes, while we understand that many of you are busy working professionals, keep your phone aside and remember to set it to silent mode. You don’t want your partner catching you glancing at your phone lest he/she thinks that you’d rather be somewhere else. Yawning is also another big no-no. Discreetly yawn with a closed mouth if you have to, or behind your linen napkin if the venue provides one. Finally, remember that eye contact is important in creating a connection. Focus on the person and you’ll be focusing on what they are saying.
3. Dominating the conversation
Ah, this is one pitfall most of us end up in. Everybody likes to talk about themselves but it can be a big turn-off when the entire conversation revolves around you and your opinions. Just think about it this way: how long can you pay attention to someone talking about his/her pet goldfish for a solid 15 minutes? Pepper in the conversation with questions about your partner and interject appropriately with your own comments. And of course, don’t ramble on about your list of exes – nobody really wants to hear about you complaining or lamenting about them for the better half of the conversation, which brings us to our next point.
4. Sensitive conversational topics
A good debate makes for a memorable date and can create a spark, but be careful lest you burn that bridge. Try to steer clear of sensitive topics such as politics and religion before you’ve skimmed the surface for their opinions. Fish for their opinions in a subtle manner first before deciding if it feels right to go ahead with the subject. If they’re reluctant to share, don’t interrogate them about it or put a dessert knife to their throat demanding for an answer. Chances are, if you get to meet them again, they’ll open up more then.
5. Looking tired
Although we understand that you may be heading down to a dating event after work or a tiring day of running errands, it is important to arrive fresh-faced or at least attempt to freshen up. If you feel exhausted, there’s a good chance that your face is reflecting this and your partner might misinterpret it for being bored. Excuse yourself to go to the restroom to stretch. Another trick is to dab your neck or wrists with cold water for a quick wake-me-up. Keeping a mint handy is a good idea too.
So there you have it! 5 tips to make your speed-dating experience better – and to make it a more pleasant one for others. Not too hard to remember, is it? Now go forth and conquer the room with your mega-watt smile!
So there you have it! 5 tips to make your speed-dating experience better – and to make it a more pleasant one for others. Not too hard to remember, is it? Now go forth and conquer the room with your mega-watt smile!
Words from Dr. Love 